He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
