I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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