blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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