her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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