I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
