He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
