No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
