I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
