he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
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It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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