did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
