Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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