i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
