Just took my morning after pill in the library
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
