Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
