Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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