it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
