I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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