i permit you to call me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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