its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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