do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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