Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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