Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
