Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
