Whod you bang
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
