do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
