I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
