On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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