Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
