but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
