I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
