No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
