I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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