I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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