I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
