I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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