Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
