My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
