if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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