Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
