i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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