My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize