Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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