GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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