why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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