If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
