And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
