you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
