If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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