He asked to "fluff my boner.."
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
