Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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