My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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