i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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