Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
