he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
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The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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