At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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