bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
