they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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