i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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