then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Two words: nipple clamps
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