Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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