Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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