these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
